STYLE GUIDE · OCCASIONS
What to wear to a funeral.
When you're grieving, choosing clothes shouldn't be another worry. In most English-speaking countries, the answer is simple: neat, modest clothes in quiet colours. Always follow any wishes the family has shared.
Updated · By the Delve to Life editors · Editorial standards
THE QUICK ANSWER
- Colours: dark or muted (black, navy, charcoal, grey, dark green) unless the family asks for something else.
- Dress route: a simple dress or skirt to around the knee or longer, or tailored trousers with a plain top and a jacket.
- Trouser route: a dark suit, or dark trousers with a shirt and jacket; a tie is a safe choice.
- Above all: clean, neat and comfortable enough to stand, sit and walk outdoors.
A quick checklist
| Check | Why it matters |
|---|---|
| Has the family asked for a colour or theme? | Some families request bright colours or a favourite team's shirt. Their wishes come first. |
| Is it a religious service? | Some faiths expect covered shoulders, knees or heads, or have different mourning colours. |
| Is there a graveside part? | Choose shoes for grass and a coat or umbrella for the weather. |
| Will you be a pallbearer? | Emily Post notes that pallbearers typically wear a dark suit unless the family says otherwise. |
| Is anything distracting? | Leave out loud prints, slogans, very short hems and noisy jewellery. |
Does it have to be black?
No. Black is traditional, but the Emily Post Institute says "attire isn't limited to just black or dark gray". Navy, charcoal, deep green, burgundy and muted patterns are widely accepted. What matters more, it adds, is that your clothes are "clean, neat, and pressed as for any other important occasion."
Traditions vary around the world. In some cultures white is the colour of mourning, and some families ask guests to wear colour to celebrate a life. If you're attending a service from a tradition you don't know, it's kind and sensible to ask a family member or the funeral home.
Outfits that work
- A dark dress with a cardigan or jacket. Choose a simple shape with sleeves or a layer.
- Tailored trousers, a plain blouse or knit, and a blazer. Comfortable for a long day.
- A dark suit, a white or pale shirt and a tie. This is the traditional choice and the safe default.
- No suit? Dark trousers, a collared shirt and a dark jumper or jacket are respectful and correct.
- Shoes: closed, comfortable and polished. Flats or low block heels work well on grass.
Memorial services, viewings and celebrations of life
- Viewing or visitation: usually the same as the funeral, or slightly less formal if it's at a family home.
- Memorial service: often held later and sometimes less formal. Follow the invitation's tone.
- Celebration of life: families sometimes ask for colour or a theme. If they don't say, choose smart, muted clothes.
Weather and practicalities
- Summer: a breathable dark dress, or light wool or linen-blend trousers with a short-sleeved blouse and a light layer.
- Winter: a dark wool coat, plus gloves and a scarf in quiet colours.
- Rain: a dark umbrella and shoes that cope with wet ground.
- Children: Emily Post notes that children generally don't wear black. Choose neat, age-appropriate clothes.
If you're short on time, open your wardrobe and pick the darkest, simplest outfit you'd wear to an important meeting. That's almost always right. The people there will remember that you came, not what you wore.
Sources: Emily Post Institute, funeral etiquette at the service. Customs differ by family, faith and region, and the family's wishes come first. These are common conventions; the host's or family's wishes always come first.